Moments of acceptance - A Doulas place

Moments of acceptance - a doulas place .
I sit today wrung out and exhausted . Not because of the 36 hrs of support , not because of the instrumental delivery so far away from the mothers vision . Not for any of the reasons that I would think . My source of exhaustion is me and my mind , the wounds I still carry from my birth and the expectations I have of myself because of them .
I was a premature baby , came fast and was whisked away to an incubator where I lay alone for 3 months , never feeling my parents touch , never cuddled. Left to come to terms with and accept that I am alone and that is how I will be . That this is normal and I am fine alone , with no need for anybody.
 Fast forward to 43 year old doula Lara and here I am in trauma because I have been excluded and pushed away from the birth I was assisting . I accept that the new mother needs to shape her boundaries , needs to hold her line and get her own routine in place to make some normal in her life .
That's the assistant speaking ! The abandoned child in me crys , wails , reaches out to be part of this story . Knowing that the support I have to give will create a healthy base to heal and grow from .
  Why must I be the one to be the scapegoat ? Why must I be the one to feel that what I know is useless ? Why must I go through this again? I don't know . I accept where my mama is at and know that she must make her own decisions and she must hold her ground for herself and her sanity . I work on myself to make sure I take none of this personally . Cuddling my inner child , letting her know that she is loved and she is needed and even tho she is not doing all she knows she can , she is still doing a good job and supporting this woman to find her own place and power of motherhood .
It stings to be ignored , pushed out , shouted at and my knowledge negated . But the wise woman in me knows that sometimes this has to happen. There has to be someone to pick on and push away , much better that it is me and not the father or the baby.
  I spend this day that would be spent cooking and holding a healing space , on healing myself and allowing myself to relax into different ways of supporting . I still send reiki and am open to being called . I suspend all judgement and support the mother supplying only what she can receive at this time. I am a servant and assistant a doula and I am here to support whatever decisions the mother makes .

Philosophy of Education - Gail Hart

* With something as variable and unique to each woman as Pregnancy and Childbirth ,you cannot learn it all from a book.
* You can learn lots of imformation from books but you cannot substitute this for practical experience.
* The first aid  skills of Midwifery are quickly taught, the anatomy and physiology are valid as as you begin to create knowledge to assist natural physiological Birth.
*Natural Physiological Birth- Is the Gold Standard of Midwifery
* Hand skills cannoot be substituted by technology!
* It is up to all midwives with skills to teach others or these skills will be lost!
* PROTECT WOMEN BY PROTECTING YOUR SKILLS!
 Create situations where hand skills and technology compete to see who gets the closest results
*  KNOWLEDGE EXPERIENCE INTUITION = EDUCATION
*  Placenta is so high in prostoglandin that it is still globally the primary fixer of heamorrage

Global Midwifery Education For The Future- Elizabeth Davis

Global Midwifery Education for the Future -  Elizabeth Davis
* The motivation towards Midwifery Educaion comes from a deep heart calling, a strong physical birthing experience and a want to serve the wider social community.
* IF YOU REALLY WANT IT YOU CAN DO IT!
* Your Midwife- Wise , humble, confident, open, trusts her and your body, is educated in Birth.
* Who will create this if not you?
* MIDWIVES ALLIANCE OF NORTH AMERICA
Is based on - core statements, practice protocols, A broad sense of how we practice, not what!
* HOLISTIC MIDWIFERY EDUCATION
can be grounded in a competancy based assessment by midwives - can the midwife demonstrate the competancy and skills to practice?
* Involve certified people- Midwives, Doctors etc to test others_ challenge them to show
SKILLS, COMPETANCY AND KNOWLEDGE
* receprocity between states that all recognise the Certified Practicing Midwife (CPM)
*Portfolio based assessment- you don't need to go to school if you can show the skills and competancys to be a Midwife.
* Self -awareness and self-development are core to competant Midwifery practice
* Contextual integrated overview is needed to create the understanding of why education and skills are important.
MENTORSHIP - SUPPORTING STUDENTS
* Know yourself, be prepared, be mature, feel confident
* OPEN YOUR HEART
* Teachers need to be open to learning to know how to teach
*Each womans personal needs need to be the basis of their Midwifery care- Supprtive Midwifery= Real Midwifery
*Community support is the key to REAL Midwifery care!
*To be adaptable and to be able to accept differences between women is a core skill.
* Social education with  community specific knowledge helps a midwife give care tailored to individual needs.
* The more we learn to work with each other and learn from each other the better care we can give our global community.
* OUR MISSION IS AUTHENTIC CARE!
 *To mentor and to be mentors is a core structure of Midwifery Education and continuation of knowledge.
* We are all equal and we all have skills and knowledge to offer
* We need to accept our own limitations and bias to to then be able to open our hearts and minds and become better educators and students
* Everyone learns differently- to open up to the heart of knowledge is to learn how students learn and tailor our education towards thier needs not our expectations
* Ask yourself ' If that was my Mother , Sister,Friend etc would I want her to be treated this way?'
* If you can get on well together you can learn together
* Midwifery is an Art and as such differs from person to person- hence giving total individual choice for each woman.

Remembering our global Herstory . ina may Gaskin

* MIT  WIF - MIDWIFE - WITH WOMAN
From the 15th to 18th century our profession was a very dangerous one. The better at healing a midwife was the more dangerous was her life. The knowledge of plants, birth, and Love were viewed as dangerous and a threat to the military and religeous powers.
* In the hammer of the witches( roman catholic text used by the spanish inquisition) it states ' ..a witch who harms is evil , a witch who cures is worse, for she perverts the will of God....'
* in america 85% of women and 15% of men were killed
*Even more women died in europe for midwifery, however there is more midwifery in europe than in the US
* The US is the creator of illusion especially when it comes to to birth practices and birth statistics
*Awomans body is mysterious not only to men but also to women.
* A sane woman can be pregnant and not know it, also she can think she is pregnant and not be.
Women can progress and recede in labor, but this fact is not written about in male dominated literature.
* A mechanical view of the body does not give a true story of the human woman because many of her functions are not only physical but also emotional
* If you assume a woman is a machine it does not matter how the baby is removed- the only factor is  GET IT OUT!
* Doctor led hospital birth created a situation where no births were attended by midwives and women became the teaching ground that doctors experimented on.
* Doctors taught knowledge from books with no real physical experiences
* 49 other countries have better birth outcomes than the US
* DO NOT COPTY THE us ILLUSION OF CARE UNTIL YOU KNOW THEIR HISTORY
* CREATE TRUE BIRTH AND TRUE LOVE

Oxytocin, what it is and what it does

OXYTOCIN

* The shy hormone- needs privacy, quiet, warmth, dark lights

*The chocolate hormone! It containes theobromine which helps the body to create oxytocin

* Oxytocin is the same hormone that is produced during lovemaking

*Oxytocin spurts around the body resonating with the bodys needs

*Oxytocin is the opposite hormone to adrenaline

* Its greek meaning is 'quick labor'

* The amazing cocktail of chemicals that are released by the release of oxytocin;

reduce stress, allows natural pain relief- endorphins

helps with breast feeding- prolactin

reduces blood pressure

* Trust , intimacy, communication, loving, gentletouch, cuddles, kisses, continuous contact, all create oxytocin!

* When there is fear adrenaline is created, where there is adrenaline, cortisol, vassopressin, there is no room for oxytocin

* Oxytocin flows from person to person freely and we can accentuate this flow by communicating with ourselves and each other about what scares us and what helps us to feel comfy and relaxed.

* Oxytocin in the blood during pregnancy assists the baby to grow and the mother to create the appropriate space to grow and nurture the baby.

* Oxytocin is the natural facilitator of the autonomic birth process- The hormone of the natural flow of the body.

* LOVE YOURSELF , LOVE YOUR BODY, LOVE YOUR BIRTH, LOVE YOUR BABY!

the power of story

The Power of Stories

Fairy tales , myths and stories provide understandings which sharpen our sight so that we can pick out and pick up the path left by the wildish nature. The instruction found in story reassures us that the path has not run out, but still leads women deeper, and more deeply still, into their own knowing. The tracks we all are following are those of the wild and innate instinctual Self.

Stories are medicine, They have such power; they do not require that we do, be ,act, anything - we need only listen The remedies for repair or reclamation of any lost psychic drive are contained in stories. Stories engender the excitement, sadness, questions, longings , and understandings that spontaneously bring the archetype, in our case the Wild Birthing Woman, back to the surface.

Stories are embedded, they guide us about the complexities of life. Stories enable us to understand the need for and the ways to raise a submurged archetype.

Metophors for life travel through history, we need to dig deeper past cultural overlays of patriarchy and religion to find the 'Herstory'

The story of us all is carried in each one of us, we all have our own individual part of our universal story to tell.

All stories carry the heart seed of truth - the inspiration from within that seeks to uncover the true nature of humans and their relation to the world around them.

Story tellers can alter the perception of their audiences, creating a space where new learning can occur. Once a story has been woven around an experience it becomes a tool for learning that is experienced in a totally different way. Theta waves are created in the brain and the old memories are overwritten with a new more educational viewpoint that signals the souls purpose and facilitates greater learning.

The Mistaken Zygote

Skeleton Woman

The Ugly Duckling

La Mariposa, Butterfly Woman

'Strength does not come after one climbs the ladder or the mountain, nor after one makes it- whatever that 'it' represents. Strengthening oneself is essential to the process of striving- especially before and during- as well as after. It is my belief that attention to and devotion to the nature of soul represents the quintessential strength'  Clarissa Pinkola Estes - Women who run with the wolves.

LOVE

mexican birthing chocolate

MEXICAN BIRTHING CHOCOLATE

*In Traditional Mexico the Birthing Woman is seen and respected as a Warrior - She is putting her life on the line to create the next generation. This is the Female Rite of Passage where each individual will open her Brain Body and Heart to this life changing experience.

* The appropriate gifts for such a warrior is chocolate.

Recipie

2Litres clean water

1 big bunch of Rosemary

1 Big handfull of Avocado leaves

some sprigs of sage

13 cloves

12  peppercorns, Black or Rose

4inch of cinnamon stick

1big handfull of cocoa (pure chocolate)

or 3-4 bars of 80% dark chocolate

*This recipie is one handed down from 'The Grandmothers' the original holders of birthing knowledge whose line of wisdom has never been broken by industrial medicine.

*Chocolate contains Theobromine which is a pre cursor to Oxytocin , the opening of Mind, Heart, Body and Soul is created by, a rush of this hormone, opening the brain to Theta levels of activity where past experiences can be over written with newer more empowering stories.

*The spices are all ones which create heat, warmness is needed to promote the feeling of well being and safety.

*The herbs are ones that promote courage, in the Body , Heart and Mind and also actively work on the muscles of the womb to correctly position the baby , calmly and gently, and then firmly eject the baby when the cervix is fully open.

Method

   * Put the spices in the water and bring to boil, simmer till the liquid halves( this is called decoction)

* Take the liquid off the heat and add the herbs, making sure that they are under the water, Cover this and let stand until it is tepid ( this is steeping)

* when liquid is cool strain off the pieces.

* heat the now beautifully smelly maroon clear liquid to warm , add the chocolate and stir till not lumpy.

* the mixture does not have to boil! The cooler the better really cos then the chocolate keeps its proper molecular structure.

* The mother can drink this freely as and when she desires

* Give this to anyone who comes near or is entering the birthing space

The group as a whole supports the birthing woman, Mind Body and Soul, collectively as one mind women create a stronger woman , a stronger loving space that the baby will want to be born into.

Not all peoples brains and hearts are easily opened by words to the same level so the chocolate uses taste, heat and smell stimuli to change head spaces to make them more conducive to creating a Positive , Loving Birthspace.

LOVE